It’s been a while since I last reported in, so here goes. Okay, this week has been rough! On Monday, I wanted to eat everything in sight (but held back as much as I could) and Tuesday thru umm…now, I would give my right arm for a few of mom’s cookies. I kept asking myself “what the heck is going on with you?” Then the realization of the monthly cycle comes into view. Now you can call that an excuse or reality, but for me it was the reality of my moods and cravings this week. It’s crazy! I almost made cookies last night at 9:00pm, with whatever darn ingredients I could find (it’s a good thing I don’t have chocolate chips in the house right now) but somehow forced myself to have some lemonade and half a bagel instead. So today I thought, I am flippin’ torchuring myself, so I’ve got to just chill out, use some points for a treat and be done with it. So I got me a Wendy’s frosty (not quite cookies, which are my true weakness) and enjoyed every last bite of it. So there.
I’m doing well with workouts this week, throwing some variety and intervals into my usual routine. I’m hoping for a weight loss this week of course, since I’ve gained the past 2 weeks. Bummer. It’s a good thing I’ve got all my fitsisters, my husband, and the Lord to give me such great support. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how to more involve the Lord and my faith in Him in this challenge of weight loss/healthy living. Any input?
Okay, I am just bugged by the gym t.v. monitors lately. It seems like every other one is on Mtv or VH1, and that is fine and dandy, but hello, there is some raunchy videos out there. I need to get my butt off the elliptical and just turn the channel. And sometimes I get bugged that here I am, working hard to accept yet change my body for good, then I look up at the screen to see a half-naked chick workin’ it, and it makes it hard to keep that self acceptance in check. I’m not sure if I’m making sense here, but this just bugs me. It is said how hard it is for a guy who is trying to keep his mind clean to avoid and turn away from such stuff like photos/videos of these girls, but I find it hard also… in the way of looking at it, and getting the negative body images in my head – “that is what you should look like”, “you’ll never look like that”, “you would be happier if you could shake your booty like Beyonce”, “would Josh love me better if I was skinnier (my rational mind KNOWS that’s not true), etc… Do you get where I’m coming from? I just feel bombarded sometimes even when I try hard to avoid exposure to that crap. That’s one reason why I rarely read any of the fashion magazines anymore… So hey, let’s get a discussion going about this – How do you keep a positive body image despite the images we are faced with daily?
Okay, I’m done. Have a good week everyone!
Rachel