Dumping Fiber
Oh My Stinking Soul. I have had a horrible experience with Fiber. I think we might have to break up. Since Weight Watchers encourages high fiber foods, (lost 4.4 lbs last week), I thought I would try a new cereal that Costco had out as a display. It is a multi-grain, bran, mother-load fiber, great tasting cereal. I loved it and ate a lot of it. Well lets just say that gas at my house is cheap! That cereal made my stomach RUMBLE. Literally, it would girggle and grumble. In fact you know your gas is bad when the kids complain that the dog pooped in the house and you know it was your own farts. Come on ladies, you know what I mean. It’s bad when the kids complain. Come to think of it, I think I only lost a large amount of weight because of the amount of gas I lost and time spent on the toilet. Hey Rachel, want some more fiber to loosen Emma up? LADIES, this stuff is fierce!!! I finally realized what it was and didn’t eat it for a day and sure enough, the farts were gone. (in mean frogs) I mentioned this in WW tonight and they all laughed and said try Beano. Then I asked if they would go buy it for me. They said just tell the clerk you are buying it for your husband. Oh, and Dr. OZ says that my body will adjust to it. Soooo…..do I keep the Costco size box of cereal, or keep eating it in small amounts and risk the health and well being of my kids. Oh, I forgot to mention how hard it is to hold in your farts in a step class. Now that’s what I call a muscle strengthening excersise. Oh my. And one more funny thing, I can’t bring myself to fart in front of my husband so every time he was around I had to keep my cheeks squeezed tight. I must have looked like a fool! Enough already, Sara said that her rule of thumb is that if a food has more than 5 grams of fiber per serving, then it’s lethal. Hope my experience has helped someone!
toot-toot
reb
March 7th, 2008 at 7:08 am
I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard! You totally nailed it on the fiber. I did warn you didn’t I? Dr. Oz is full of it. I have been “fartin’” for many years now. Oh yeah, and beano doesn’t work that great either. Thanks for a good laugh so early in the morning.
March 7th, 2008 at 8:26 am
Oh my goodness Rebecca, I really needed to laugh this morning and you supplied! Thanks and keep on tootin’
March 12th, 2008 at 8:12 am
You make me CRACK UP!!! Only if we could bottle the farts up and sell them as an alternative energy source……
March 13th, 2008 at 12:04 pm
Hilarious. I totally need that Costco cereal for Emma. This reminds me of the time when my dh thought Fiber One bars were like granola bars and ate 4 of them in one day. WoooooEEEEE!!
March 13th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
Look at you and your cool blogging chick shorthand.
Signed, your “dh”.
March 23rd, 2008 at 10:23 pm
This is hilarious. I could not stop laughing. Good job on the weight loss!